Where I am today

Had follow-up with consultant/registrar today.

I'd called the office on Monday, as instructed when I left hospital last week to make sure I was in the system. The secretary was appallingly rude to me and made me cry A LOT. I was so distressed my partner (usually extremely mild-mannered) called her back to tell her off. She said that the consultant didn't deal with molar pregnancies and asked me where I got the number. I found this deeply offensive, as if I'd looked for gynaecologists in the Yellow Pages and decided to take a punt. She also took my phone number down wrong (only the first eight digits) and I had to force her to take it down properly. When she called me back she said, "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot" as if I'd started it, or been rude to her in any way. In reality, I just didn't want to be spoken to like I was a piece of shit on her shoe.

I don't like going to the doctor or having to deal with medical stuff at the best of time so I had a lot of concerns before the appointment. Waiting for an hour didn't help my nerves much either. In the event, I saw the registrar, who was actually very kind.

I've done a lot of research myself, so she didn't tell me much I didn't already know, although I did learn that my pre-op HCG levels were over 400,000 which is extremely high. No wonder I felt so incredibly ill all the time. I also told her that the secretary had been horrible to me and she apologised, and said it was my right to phone and ask questions.

Apparently, the referral to Charing Cross was made on the 19th, but CX hadn't heard of me on the 23rd so I've asked them if they've received the referral and hope to hear from them tomorrow. If not, it's back on the phone to Ms Stroppy-Pants. I hope the referral has arrived!

Am mainly hoping that my levels go down, down, down steadily as I obviously really don't want to end up having chemotherapy.

Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I went out for brunch with a friend which was lovely, but I felt so tired after. As I'd napped the day before, then slept badly at night, I didn't nap which meant I was so tired and feeling fragile. I was tired of it all, and just wanted to hide away somewhere until it went away. I still feel a bit like that, but I suppose it's not a realistic option. So just trying to stay calm and hoping so hard the levels go down quickly on their own. GP on Friday for the follow-up there as they're the ones that should be doing the blood tests. I've put together a "pack" of information for the GP, with a letter from me with the latest details, the discharge letter from the hospital and a leaflet from The Miscarriage Association about Molar Pregnancy as apparently lots of doctors have never heard of it. See? Tiring. Doing the thinking for everyone else.