Monday - ERPC

Monday morning I had to report to the Early Pregnancy Unit at Southmead hospital with a view to being admitted to the ward for the operation.

We were taken by my lovely mum and had my many bags of dressing gown, pyjamas, food etc. When you get there you take a number and fill out a sheet and then the receptionist books you in. You sit on chairs in a corridor.

It's great that there is this clinic, but a corridor full of tense, sometimes crying women, isn't terribly marvellous. Particularly when like me I knew there was no hope but for some of them there may have been.

Anyway, waiting waiting waiting. Went and told the receptionist all the details that were on the form and then returned to waiting.

Finally called by the midwife to the scan room where she saw that I had a molar and had been referred by the consultant. She said I shouldn't have had to wait and as I already had my scan pictures I didn't need to be rescanned. I was glad I didn't have to have another scan. So we went to a little sitting room to wait for another midwife to come and talk to us.

She was called Cathy and really really amazingly lovely. I was drinking apple juice because I felt sick but she told me I wasn't supposed to and was a bit annoyed no one had told me to fast. All I'd had was some water and a frusli bar so it was ok.
At first she said about the internet sometimes giving you too much information, but she then also explained that the scan could've shown a missed miscarriage and all my fears about ongoing treatment and chemotherapy could be entirely unfounded. I don't know how long we were there. Then we had to go to a medical room so she could take some blood. It was probably about this point that I started getting quite bad pain in my back and stomach. She offered me some painkillers but I said I was ok. She had to take some blood to go to the ward. I think it was about this point that I started getting quite frightened and worried about the operation.

She went to take blood from my left arm which was really painful and I felt sick anyway and it just made me feel really disgusting and sick. And it didn't work. So I started crying really hard and feeling like I was going to lose control. So she gave us a few minutes and I asked for some painkillers. Rob gave me a lovely hug and a pep talk and she came back and said she had to do it but if she couldn't from the other arm she'd take me to the ward for the doctor to do it as I was getting distressed and the doctor would do it right. But she got there in the end, although I've now got a horrible bruise. I was upset because I'd thought the giving blood bit would be the easiest bit of it and it was horrible and difficult and upsetting. But in reality, it was the hardest bit!